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bible fun, part 16, Daniel and Jonah

  Daniel and Jonah   Daniel 1:1 2 kings 25:8-11   (This one I will add two of the stories about Daniel and about Jonah in the whale. The reason for this is because both stories are extremely short)   The lord caused Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon to destroy Jerusalem. Many of the Israelites were deported to Babylon. The King chose few who were handsome, wise, of noble birth, and without defect and had them learn the language and literature of the Babylonians. This included Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach and Abenego. King Nebuchadnezzar created a 90 foot tall golden statue, and ordered that anyone who does not worship the statue must immediately be thrown into the blazing furnace. At this time, some Chaldeans came forward to accuse the jews of not worshipping the statue. But Shadrach, Meshach and Abenego would only worship their own God. They believed he would rescue them from the blazing furnace. “Ah yes, of course God, would, he’s totally a good God.” Angel said sarcastically
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Bible fun, part 15, Job

Job Job 1:1   (My note: I’m thankful that now the future stories will be shorter. Doing the stories of David, Saul, and Solomon is insane and very long and I had to cut quite a bit of them. I enjoy doing them, nonetheless. I will explain why I did all this later, but first I will finish the entire bible.)   In the land of Uz, there is Job, and he is perfectly righteous, fearing God and shunning evil. He had 7 sons and 3 daughters. He had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 oxens, and 500 she-donkeys and he had a great number of servants. “I guess to be righteous, you have to be totally ok with slavery and wealth and such, right God?” Angel asked. “Oh can it, Angel. Their idea of righteousness is different from what you think should be righteous because of their culture.” God said. “Oh that’s right, you are a God that is all about their culture and never any way different from it. Curious how every culture around the world had their gods and goddesses behave exactly how their culture was. It
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bible fun, part 14, King Solomon

  King Solomon 1kings 1:38, 1 Chronicles 11:22   Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet, Benaiah the warrior, and the kerethites and pelethites put Solomon on a mule and led him down to the spring of Gion. Zadok took the horn of oil and anointed Solomon. They sounded the trumpet and shouted, “Long live King Solomon.” As Adonijah and all his guests were finishing their feast, they heard the trumpet and Joab asked, “What is all that racket going on in the city?” Jonathan, son of Abiathar the priest arrived, “King David made Solomon king!” With that, everyone went into a state of panic and went their own ways. Fearing Solomon, Adonijah went and grabbed the horns of the altar. Solomon was informed, “Adonijah has taken hold of the horns of the altar, let King Solomon swear not to put his servant to death.” “If he’s good, then he’s cool. If he’s not, then he’s toast!” Solomon said. So they brought Adonijah to Solomon and he bowed down before him. “Go Home, you’re drunk,”
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bible fun, part 13, King David.

  King David 2 Samuel   All the tribes of Israel came to David, “When saul was king, you were the real military leader of Israel.” “I was just a farm boy tending sheep and all, I didn’t even know how I even got here. Anyway, thanks. I guess.” David said. And so David reigned for 40 years, 7 in Hebron and 33 in Jerusalem.   David and all of Israelites all advanced on Jerusalem, which is to say Jebus. The Jebusites lived there and were lands original inhabitants. When David and his army arrived, the inhabitants said to him, “Go away! The blind and the lame will turn you away.” “How can the blind and the lame turn anyone away? And why would they?” Angel asked. “Whoever attacks Jebusites must use the water tunnel to get to the blind and the lame who I hate with every fiber of my being!” David said. “That makes no sense whatsoever! What has the blind and the lame got to do with anything?” Angel asked. “Whoever kills a Jebusite first will become commanding general!” D
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